The Story behind Jatzan
As you can guess from our name, Jatzan, we are Japanese Ninja Coders, or JNC's as we're known in the industry. Some of us were spewed from the bowels of Electronic Arts back when was EA stood for Elephant Artist, which was of course how they started, back in the day, painting elephants. As you will probably have heard, they moved on to loftier pastimes, painting mermaids, unicorns, and finally fingernails. When video games took off, EA were right in pole position to transform nail painting into the games that we see today. For some of us, as EA changed, the fun went out of the business, and we went our separate ways. Some ended up in a tiny North Western African country as mercenaries, while others planted genetically modified corn in Nebraska. Those of us that could read went on a highly intensive training course, which led to our becoming Japanese Ninja Coders, when finally we bonded and became as one, sensei, Jatzan.
Anyway, someone told us we should put up a website so we could showcase our games and people could contact us and shit. I thought Facebook was the Internet until last week when a mate of mine said that there was some other Internet with Google on it.
As JNC’s, we are sort of above the Internet. We have no real need for it as due to our training, knowledge just sorta flows through us. But to be on the safe side, we downloaded the entire Internet and saved it to a USB stick, which is much better. Now we can access the Internet wherever we are, even if there is no wi-fi.
We've already had a couple of aggressive take-over bids from larger companies in the industry whom shall remain nameless,( Zynga, etc), but we were able to fend them off with a couple of well-aimed HP touchpads running Angry Boobs. It's difficult to know exactly who was behind the bids and the share price manipulations nowadays, but I'd bet money on the fact that the two guys we caught sniffing around outside yesterday were from Zynga or someone else like that. The Touchpads sure caught them by surprise and we didn't see them again after that. We're assuming that a company such as HP will still honor the refund offer, even if we don’t actually have the Touchpads anymore. Ironically we bought 500 of them when they first came out at $499, suspecting that the retail price would rise once people realized you could use them as Frisbees, coasters, ice skating rinks for hamsters and a whole lot of great new ideas we thought of. Sadly, HP didn't see the potential and stopped making them.