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About Jatzan

At Jatzan, we do like to do things differently.

We employ kids to help develop our games. Why kids? Quite simply because they are much cheaper than adults, and every little bit adds to our profit margin. In fact, sometimes we can get away without paying the kids anything, which is pretty cool.

To be fair, kids aren't much good at anything, except for playing games. They can't do anything useful like tile a bathroom, replace a head gasket, or translate Shakespeare, but they can play games. May be that’s what kids were invented for?

And if the game sells several million copies, we do like to treat the kids to something special. A packet of Doritos, or Haribo gummy bears or something. We like to give back to the community.

We’re a big fan of informal dress-down days. We don’t do informal Friday, but instead we have informal Sunday. On that day we go to church with a baseball cap on sideways, playing new levels of 'Monty and the Mugwumps' on our iPads.

Then it’s off to eat pasta with the Pastor, washed down with a few Samuel Adams.

Quantity.

Simply put - quantity wins the game. Whereas other lesser companies, mentioning no names (Electronic Arts), will put 30 people to work on a new game, we at Jatzan will put as many as it takes to get the game out quick and right. On the recently released WordBlitz, we forced 1015 Japanese Ninja Coders to code twenty-four-seven so that we could develop the game in just one week.

This of course is embarrassing to more established games developers who are used to taking it slow, one pizza at a time.

We code quick and we code right.

Ninja Coders have no real competition. When our recent recruits realized what we were up to, they sold any shares they had in other industry players. The Jatzan method is just that real. Any competitors will soon be spending their time watching iCarly unless they join the Jatzan Japanese Ninja Coders movement.

The Jatzan Sensei Training Program is accepting interns at this moment. Prospective interns must be fully conversant in coding extreme 4D AI logic in Latin. Only then can we take you to a higher plane plain).

To apply for an internship, you must download a paid version of our games onto 500 different phones and play the game 500 times and get 500 different but equally amazing scores. Only then will the Jatzan karma enter into your inner soul and you can finally rest and be as one with us, Sensei.

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